


Militat Omnis Amans

by imaweirdkid



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU where they were together until they left Insomnia, And I am too, Feelings, Fluffy Angst, M/M, Mainly the boys are sad, Post-Break Up, They'll work it out somehow, is that a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 15:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12961980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaweirdkid/pseuds/imaweirdkid
Summary: “Can I sit with you?” he asked finally.“Of course,” Ignis said, and Noct let himself fall into the seat beside him.The tension from the car ride was still palpable between them. An uncomfortable vibration of anger, frustration, and hurt. Neither one said a word. Ignis had time. And there was little to say regardless. Noct would say his piece when he was ready.“So, um, I may have been an asshole on the ride here.”After some hurtful words, Noctis finds Ignis deep in thought. Takes place shortly after they leave Insomnia.





	Militat Omnis Amans

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is sort of based on an idea that Ignis and Noctis were together pre-game and had Regis’ permission to get married once Noct turns a certain age, like if no marriage had been arranged for political gain before then, he’d be free to ask Ignis. Obviously, things didn’t work out this way… Also, takes place after they leave Insomnia but before Insomnia falls. And I imagine Noct to be unable to deal with his sorrow and being a passive-aggressive dick the whole ride and saying shit like “Iggy’s the designated driver. Guess that’s one way for Iggy to be in my wedding.” Aaaaaanyway, these two are giving me all the feels. I’m gonna go cry now. 
> 
> Title means “Every lover is a soldier” or something along those lines. Unbeta'd because I'm a piece of shit with no patience.

Ignis sat in the car staring at his phone. The others had already made camp and he had gone back to grab something. There was nothing to grab. He just needed some time alone. He knew that he had made the right choice. Noct was to be married to Lady Lunafreya. The level of indecency in still having a lover despite the fact that Luna knew about it would just be too much. And it was Ignis’ job to keep the crown of Lucis from any harm may it be physical or otherwise. Noct, young and passionate as he was, didn’t agree with him of course. But as his chamberlain it was his duty to make the best decisions for his king. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him, too. 

Ignis’ happiness had not simply crumbled from one day to the next. It had burst into sharp pieces, all of which felt like they were piercing through him. None of which were easier to bear than the rest. Noctis was to be married to Luna. Him and Noctis could not be allowed to go on. Noctis was to face his destiny sooner rather than later. He knew Regis hadn’t just sent them on a wedding trip to Altissia. Something was afoot. The king was smart and his decisions had reason, always. As such, Ignis had no doubt in his mind that Noctis would know true grief in no time. And he could not bear staying for it. Yet staying for it he would have to. He would stay for the whole terrible thing.

And on top of it all, Noct’s anger. They knew each other so well… Noct knew exactly how to hurt Ignis. He hardly ever had reason to, but in this instance there was no one else to bear the brunt of his anger. Ignis knew it was out of frustration. That Noct was young and in a position were all the choices had been made for him. It hurt nonetheless. 

“Hey.” 

Ignis turned his head towards the sound of the voice. He hadn’t even heard him approach. Noct looked sheepish. He could hardly meet Ignis' eyes.

“Hey,” Ignis answered quietly, “Something you need, your highness?” 

Noct hesitated.

“Can I sit with you?” he asked finally.

“Of course,” Ignis said, and Noct let himself fall into the seat beside him. 

The tension from the car ride was still palpable between them. An uncomfortable vibration of anger, frustration, and hurt. Neither one said a word. Ignis had time. And there was little to say regardless. Noct would say his piece when he was ready.

“So, um, I may have been an asshole on the ride here.” he went on.

“Noct, there is no need-“ Ignis began but was interrupted by his prince.

“-there is. Iggy, I’m sorry. I am just so fucking angry all the time. I know you didn’t want to call us off. I just— Fuck. There’s no one here to be angry at and so I let it all out on you and I hurt you and I’m sorry.” Ignis stared at his prince. The need to destroy something and crush it in his hands raged in Ignis as well. He was simply better at hiding it. They’d both lost something when they left Insomnia.

“Thank you,” Ignis said. He didn’t think there was more to say really. No words were going to help.

“I know that even though you broke up with me it was your dream, too. We lost it both. It wasn’t fair to use that against you,” Noct continued, and Ignis really needed him to stop talking now because of all the things he could not think about, his future with Noct — stupidly, stupidly imagined and whispered into each other’s skin in many a sleepless night, as if it could ever become a reality — was the top one. The one thought he did not allow himself to linger on. As if not looking at it, not examining the future they had planned, would make it somehow hurt less. 

“Noct, it’s fine,” he said.

“I hurt you,” Noct said with finality, “and I never wanted to do that.”

The prince started laughing but it wasn’t a happy laugh, it was an ugly one, full of sorrow and regret. Ignis wished Noct would stop. Ignis wished he was the only one hurting. But mainly, Ignis wished he could stop feeling like a wounded animal. Because that was what he had been feeling since he had put an end to their relationship. Tightly curled up around some infected wound that he was desperately trying to hide from the rest of the world. Poison that crept up unexpectedly and infested his heart with rage and his brain with visions of what might have been. It didn't make any difference. Noct was going to get married and he was going to witness it. The sooner he accepted that, the faster they could move on. Maybe Noct would be happy with Luna after all. At least one of them deserved to be. 

“Six, I would have made a terrible husband for you,” he said and Ignis’ stomach dropped a thousand miles. Fuck, he needed to get a grip. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m doing it again.” Ignis smiled politely at him, but it felt false, and Noct looked at him as if he could see right through him. He probably could.

“No matter, your highness. Perhaps we ought to get back to the haven,” and he made to get up, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked back at Noct.

“I’m sorry, we didn't get to do all we had planned because of who I am,” he said too quickly and Ignis blinked at him. “I’m sorry I promised you the world and now it’s all crashed and burned and none of it will ever come true.” There were tears in his prince’s eyes and Ignis felt his heart break a million times over.

“Noctis,” Ignis said very carefully, “we made promises to each other that weren’t ours to make. I knew this, and I feel the loss. Still, I can’t exactly bring myself to regret it.” He smiled and Noct smiled back. “I have always known who we are and where our limitations lie. We just... forgot for a while.”

“It was nice to forget,” Noct said.

“Yes, it was,” Ignis agreed.

“I’m sorry, I brought up our hypothetical wedding in the car ride,” Noct said and clearly this was what he had wanted to say from the beginning.

“No matter, your highness.” He sat back and Noct’s head fell against his shoulder. “I’m not sure this is wise.”

“Please, Iggy, just for a bit. I promise I won’t push.”

Ignis hummed in agreement. They sat in silence and watched the clouds pass in the blue sky above.

“I had thought about it,” Ignis said, seemingly out of nowhere. "What it would be like."

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Not often, mind you it was still years away--”

“—I thought about it all the time,” Noct said, a confession so bittersweet, Ignis could hardly stand it. “I counted the days until I could ask you. I had the whole thing half planned.” Ignis was silent. 

“Yes, so did I,” he finally replied. Noct lifted his head to look him in the eye. “What? I’m not allowed to plan the wedding you surely would have pawned off on me to plan?” Noct laughed and it was Ignis’ favourite sound in the world. He hadn’t laughed this way, carefree and happy, since they’d left Insomnia.

“You’re right. I would have,” he said, “So, Specs, what would it have been then?” And his head fell back against Ignis shoulder. He grabbed Ignis’s hand and Ignis didn’t stop him. 

“Obviously, it would have been an enormous occasion. Something elegant. Dark blue and silver as the main theme perhaps,” Iggy replied.

“Like the night sky.”

“Yes,” Ignis paused. “We would have invited Luna but she might not have been able to come.” Noct squeezed Ignis’ hand. 

“True,” Noct agreed, “It’s all different now. None of it is as it should have been.” Ignis squeezed back.

More silence. They sat there until the sky turned darker and Gladio and Prompto came to find them. Noct had fallen asleep on his shoulder and Ignis had closed his eyes and imagined them away from the road. Perhaps to a lakeside on a fishing trip or further away still. It felt strangely like grief and for the first time, Ignis let himself feel it. Maybe it was because, for the first time, it felt like they were grieving together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments are super appreciated. Or come and cry with me: teddylupinsbrightbluehair(dot)tumblr(dot)com.


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